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:iconthet90:

~thet90

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Why can't I let it go?

Thu Jul 2, 2009, 8:35 PM
  • Mood: Miserable
  • Listening to: A Twist in my Story - Secondhand Serenade
Why?




:tombstone:


I don't know why, I can't seem to let go of my past. As in my school days. I've had 'nightmares' about my school friends including ~Lillian40 coming to my bording school. And treating me badly. I feel like even if I left them, there still after me to bully me. I mean, I've already told myself, those are people who treated you like a piece of trash when you treated them so nicely. People who play with my emotions and hurt me mentally. I've told myself a million times when I see stuff/people that remind me of my previous school, when I walk pass the school OR see them somewhere. Though, yes. I miss my Science teacher, my school principle and all the other adults. But people my age were rude. Probably because I was teachers' pet. They keep saying "I HATE YOU." or "You're such a weirdo." I never hurt them nor have I said bad things behind their backs. Why is my school days haunting me? I can't barely sleep in weekends because I'm afraid of those nightmares haunting me again. I know I'm already happy with real friends ONLINE and REAL LIFE who treat me nicely for me. Even if I have weird interests. I AM happy living with my parents and my uncle who loves me. Even if I have almost everything I wanted. But why do I feel as if I've left a part of my personality at my PREVIOUS school? Why do I feel like I've been torn to halves?

24 Comments

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:iconpseudocide335:
~pseudocide335 Jul 2, 2009, 8:47:32 PM
It's natural to feel like your past is chasing you. Bad things happened, and it's hard to just let things go. And I know how you feel, how you may feel silly thinking about it now that you have real friends who treat you well. But it's okay, and it's a good idea to talk about it to people. :) This way you can just let go of everything you're feeling and get it out there. Once it's out there, you can begin to deal with it.

Some people are just mean to other because they're insecure about themselves. And knowing preteens, they can get pretty vicious, especially girls. I'm going to blame half of it on puberty. Hormones get running, and suddenly your emotions are all mucked up and you don't know what to do with yourself. The thing is to just be as honest with yourself as possible. Tell yourself that it's not your fault they treated you like that. You have friends now, and try to concentrate on all that is good. :) And if it makes you feel better, just grab a friend and do what I call "Anger Management". Scribble little pictures of people you hate, and then tell the other person how you're going to kill them. Draw a knife stabbing them, an atomic bomb blowing them up, a bus running into them, etc. Have the friend contribute. Keep going until the whole page is just completely covered in pencil drawings. It may seem really cruel and mean, but you really do feel better afterward. ^_^ I'm not a mean person by any standards, but I've done some pretty mean things to people in my Anger Management drawings. I do remember feeling good about myself afterward too. :D If you do them with a friend, you can make it funny too.

--
Eddie: “You are gay. Act like it once in your life.”
Peaches: “You’re a man. Act like it once in your life.”
-- [link]
:iconsasukeuchiha-no1-fan:
~SasukeUchiha-No1-Fan Jul 4, 2009, 4:18:09 AM
I agree with :iconpseudocide335: Especially the drawing pic with knifes. But when I did it, they found out about it and took the pictures to the teachers ^^;

--
"No one dies a virgin, LIFE screws us all."- Random Deviant
--
,___,
[O.o] - Orly?
/)__)
-"--"-
,___,
[¬.¬] - yarly.
/)__)
-"--"-
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Moving accounts to ~NoMoreGilbird soon~
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...VITAL REGIONS >:]
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Maru Kaite Chikyuu~
:iconthet90:
~thet90 Jul 4, 2009, 4:26:55 AM
Yes. Thank you. :) May I ask what I should call you? Since tpying the whole "SasukeUchiha-No1-Fan" would make me tired. :ohnoes:

--
If you do visit my profile, I will love you like I love my stuffed animals. :dummy:

----

I love to draw. I love to indulge myself in music. I love to write.
:iconsasukeuchiha-no1-fan:
~SasukeUchiha-No1-Fan Jul 4, 2009, 4:28:04 AM
Um... call me Fumie, that's what some of my friends call me ^^

--
"No one dies a virgin, LIFE screws us all."- Random Deviant
--
,___,
[O.o] - Orly?
/)__)
-"--"-
,___,
[¬.¬] - yarly.
/)__)
-"--"-
--
Moving accounts to ~NoMoreGilbird soon~
--
...VITAL REGIONS >:]
--
Maru Kaite Chikyuu~
:iconthet90:
~thet90 Jul 4, 2009, 4:32:04 AM
You got that right. A lot of bad stuffed happened. *sigh* Yeah. I wanted to vent it on my blog, but I guessed where all my emotions belonged are on dA. :) Thanks.

Hormones. Yes, I think I know what you mean. Since something like that happened to me before. My emotions go out of control in public, I accidently yelled at my mom and she slapped me in public. 'Nuff said. Yeah, that's what I'm currently focused on right now. On the positive side.

Okay. This so called 'Anger Management' thing sounds awesome. I think I've seen a type of program which 'distroyes' a picture with slingshots, guns, nuclear bombs, boogers :XD:, etc. I think I'll do Anger Management 'drawings'.

Thanks Wanda. :)

--
If you do visit my profile, I will love you like I love my stuffed animals. :dummy:

----

I love to draw. I love to indulge myself in music. I love to write.
:iconthet90:
~thet90 Jul 4, 2009, 4:37:29 AM
Okay. Fumie. :meow: Thats a kawaii~ name. :D

--
If you do visit my profile, I will love you like I love my stuffed animals. :dummy:

----

I love to draw. I love to indulge myself in music. I love to write.
:iconsasukeuchiha-no1-fan:
~SasukeUchiha-No1-Fan Jul 4, 2009, 4:41:42 AM
Thanks =D

--
"No one dies a virgin, LIFE screws us all."- Random Deviant
--
,___,
[O.o] - Orly?
/)__)
-"--"-
,___,
[¬.¬] - yarly.
/)__)
-"--"-
--
Moving accounts to ~NoMoreGilbird soon~
--
...VITAL REGIONS >:]
--
Maru Kaite Chikyuu~
:iconthet90:
~thet90 Jul 4, 2009, 4:43:37 AM
No prob!

--
If you do visit my profile, I will love you like I love my stuffed animals. :dummy:

----

I love to draw. I love to indulge myself in music. I love to write.
:iconsasukeuchiha-no1-fan:
~SasukeUchiha-No1-Fan Jul 4, 2009, 4:45:47 AM
^_^

--
"No one dies a virgin, LIFE screws us all."- Random Deviant
--
,___,
[O.o] - Orly?
/)__)
-"--"-
,___,
[¬.¬] - yarly.
/)__)
-"--"-
--
Moving accounts to ~NoMoreGilbird soon~
--
...VITAL REGIONS >:]
--
Maru Kaite Chikyuu~
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